Sunday, September 12, 2010

relief is in the work

When I'm helping mom to the bathroom, or adjusting the pillows, or getting the nurse....that's when I get relief. I'm in the moment and doing the most honorable thing, helping my mom. But when she sleeps and I'm alone in the room, that's the hardest work of all. I think of all the things to do, all the things she wants and doesn't want.....and I think about life without my mom.
I'm lucky. I have a great relationship with my mom. She knows me (and yes, still loves me:). There are so many things that can go unsaid between us.....with one look we can crack each other up. Our relationship is a gift. And I'm grateful, but this awful, horrible, unfair, painful, mean....it sucks.

1 comment:

  1. This woman who very early in life had to deal with the death of her father and, as the oldest child, take on family duties to help her mother and brother survive; worked and did all the household chores, dedicated her life to God, bore two children, mothered five while surviving to bad husbands and me her the "black sheep" only to suffer a number maladies now the worst of all cancer.

    It's not fair.

    There better be a special place in her heaven where saints reside.

    One positive note, Flora was at FedEx in spirit last night and the Redskins beat the Cow-Girls, one small bright spot in the darkness.


    It will be nice to get both her and Shelli home

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